THE BIEBS BOMBS

This cover of Justin Bieber for Vanity Fair's February 2011 issue was the worst selling issue in 12 years, only selling around 246,000 copies. HA!

Why would Graydon & Co. even think this would make an entertaining subject? Most of VF's demographic audience and subscribers are intelligent, affluent and no-nonsense. They could care less about trivial singers with such an insipid following. And, the photo essay was just ignorant. The magazine tapped into yesteryear to make Bieber mimic any number of 1950s singers. Sweater-sets and bobby socks teamed with Brylcreemed-hair. The magazine tried to lure the mature reader back into that nostalgic era of milkshakes and carhops. Which the magazine does constantly. A monthly trip back in time with romantic sonnets about the Kennedys and love letters to those legendary silver screen icons of yore. FAIL!

And, why would Graydon & Co. think that the tween twat set would buy this? Most of the articles in the magazine are 5 to 10 pages, we doubt the twats could make it through a single first paragraph.

Would they read the monthly editor's letter??-- GET REAL!!

Would they read Christopher Hitchens' or James Wolcott's monthly columns?? Grasp how these two writers craft a witty sentence? NOT!!

And, most wouldn't be able to understand the exhaustively-researched subjects that Vanity Fair chooses to highlight, like the article on STUXNET, the computer virus unleashed to disable Iran's nuclear program or the piece on American pharmaceutical companies testing their drugs on subjects outside the US to avoid the regulations.

Uh, no.

The required time to read these articles would take away from their numerous hours spent on Twitter and Facebook posting about their inane accounts on this-and-that triviality and their daily dose of keeping up with those gross Armenian slits, the role models they so aspire to be. That is Bieber's core consuming audience-- IDIOTS!!